Episode IV: My Decision
This is the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make.
On my eighth birthday, I fell in love with you. Dad and I sat on the big yellow couch in the living room, screaming at the TV with tears of joy when Corey Webster picked off Brett Favre in overtime at Lambeau Field.
I begged my parents every single year to play as a kid, and when I got the chance, I gave you everything I had because I love you.
My first time playing was freshman year of high school against Red Mountain. We lost 42-7. I got steamrolled at defensive tackle my first ever snap and got back up with the biggest smile on my face. That’s when I knew I really loved you.
Every kid has a dream they chase. Mine was to play college football. Grandma Renee and I used to stay up for countless hours talking about how to get there. Well, guess what happened? I did.
In sixth grade, I wrote a letter to myself asking where I wanted to be in ten years. I said I wanted to graduate from Harvard. Six years later, I picked Princeton and never lost to the 10,000 men in crimson.
Winning is something that never happened in sports as a kid. I was always a good athlete that came in second and it ate at me. I hate losing more than anything else.
Princeton gave me that feeling not once, but twice. I played in a stacked position room with the best coaches, teammates, and culture anyone could ask for. Winning isn’t given; it’s earned, and my brothers certainly taught me how to do that. I spent the last four years pouring my blood, sweat, and tears into you for the orange and black. It was everything I wanted and more.
The question at first was: where do I play next? The next question was: do I play at all?
I sat in my room contemplating the next step. I love football with all of my heart, but was football everything I wanted in life for the next three years? Well, to answer that question, I needed perspective.
In the midst of my concussion (in Episode I: Perspective), I interviewed for a trip called Silicon Valley Tiger Trek. Out of 200 applicants, I was one of twenty picked to go meet the best startup companies and venture capital firms Silicon Valley had to offer. So, I took it.
I got to San Francisco with my heart fully set on football. What happened on that trip was something I never expected.
Going into the trip, I only knew two other people and was extremely nervous. Walking away from it, I made twenty of the closest friends I’ll have, bonded by our shared commitment to shape our future in a positive direction.
I learned more about myself in the ten days there than I did in four years at Princeton. It’s hard to believe, but it’s true. Picking the minds of some of the brightest visionaries on Earth gives you a lot to learn from, and I surely did learn. So, the question then became: how much more can I learn?
In this world, you are who you really are. One interesting take I heard in San Francisco was “We are all the same five-year-old kid at heart.” After this trip, I had to ask myself: who was that five-year-old kid?
Well, I always loved playing basketball at recess. Physical exercise was necessary to function in a classroom; however, at all three elementary schools I went to, we always ate lunch before going to recess. At lunch, I liked to ask my friends how they were doing, and I always got an honest answer. I learned where they were at and how to help if needed. I understood what they were going through because I’m an empath by nature.
How does this translate to who I am now? Let me give you an example.
When I was a freshman, two upperclassmen asked the locker room to help the rare disease community. I pounced on the opportunity. Two months later, I took over as President of Princeton Football’s Chapter of Uplifting Athletes and never looked back. It gave me incredible joy positively impacting the rare disease community and am forever thankful for the opportunity.
On my 22nd birthday, I sat on the back of the bus headed to the Golden Gate Bridge for the Silicon Valley Tiger Trek photoshoot. We just met the founders of a startup that featured three Princeton graduates under 25 years old. Their advice? “Chase after the things that you care about the most.”
Their advice sat with me on the bus. When I check up on others, I always ask about their mental health. It’s not an easy thing to learn or understand, but after asking enough times, you really see how people think and in which ways you can support them.
Many people have told me, “I wish that we could talk about mental health more.” I firmly agree with this statement. On that bus ride, it clicked: the thing that matters the most to me is mental health. That’s my north star.
In order to chase after my north star, I must dedicate everything I have to it. So, here’s my decision. I am walking away from the game of football.
It will come as a surprise for many, but this is the right decision for my future. I’m moving forward to make a difference.
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iSight will be a major outlet for my discoveries. It’s the beginning of an entirely new journey, but I want to do so much more than just iSight. Be on the lookout for more content soon. I am incredibly thankful for your support.
